Headed for Home, Soon...

Wow. I'll be back in Kansas in just a few days. I could say that it's hard to believe that my time here is almost over, but in some ways it will be a relief. This semester has been a long one in many ways, especially the last few weeks. I won't really go into detail here, but I'll be glad to be home where I can rest and detox for a couple days, and I have the "jetlag" excuse to back it up.

Not that I'm not excited to be home regardless :-D

I was up 'til 6 am this morning, and then slept 'til nine. Jeremiah and Ellen and Becky and I stayed up together - Jeremiah and I just because, Becky and Ellen still had packing left to do. And cleaning. And now, the girls are gone, and the "Four Musketeers" (christened at around 1 am or so by Jeremiah) are down to two. And he is out at dinner with a family from church, so I sit here alone.

It's an interesting feeling. Knowing that while most people are responsibility free now that classes are over, I do not have such a luxury. I have a sermon to write, 300 pages of theology to read, and a paper to write. How do I end up with so much to do?

Right now, I'm not really stressed about it - I think I'd call it more resigned. I don't really want to do any of it, but I know that I'll end up doing all of it eventually.

Today's been kind of a daze, to tell the truth. I stood around and talked with Jeremiah and his pastor after the 5 girls left this morning. Then I sat with the rest of the guys and ate pancakes. then I watched the third Pirates of the Caribbean movie, and loved it again.

I could go take a nap, and my body probably needs me to. But, as I've come to realize over the last few years, the afternoon is positively my favorite time of day. Here, I love the light that comes in the afternoon, creating a mist (without any actual mist) that you view everything through. And recently, it means that you get a small break from the real heat of the day. It's probably still just a little too warm to wear my jeans, but because of the gaping hole in my knee i don't mind it too much. I'll rollerblade down to get fish and chips and return the movie later on, and it won't be too warm at all. I'm kind of excited :-)

Speaking of pancakes - going home will be an interesting nutritional experience. Let's start with the fact that a three-meal day is a rarity. And while that's true most of the time at school, usually I eat lunch and dinner, being too tired or too busy or too rushed to eat breakfast. Or too lazy to get up that early ;-) But these days, I eat a bowl of cereal around whenever I get up and then I don't eat anything 'til dinner. I imagine that it will take some getting used to to try to do lunch and dinner everyday.
On top of that, it will be interesting having a varied diet again. Michelle and I tend to eat well, but around the flat I'm usually limited to pasta, pizza, or sandwiches. Usually of the peanut butter and Nutella variety. It's far from healthy, I imagine. I'm actually kind of excited to go back to vegetables :-)

Anyways, people are starting to have the bug that indicates that it really is the end of the semester, and that we are going home. There is an abundance of laundry being done. People are rushing to the market to buy those last minute souvenirs for people. There isn't any food anywhere to be found on campus. And, on days like today, when some people leave, you are likely to see friends sitting around not really talking about anything, but all looking off into space and lost in their own thoughts.

I do very little of that - I think the rest of the day will be an interesting one. 3/4 of the persons that I spend the majority of my time with are gone right now, and the other one is off campus. it's not that I'm alone, because of course I know all the people that are still around campus. But there is just something like a hole that comes from not feeling intimately connected to the people around you. I tend to avoid that situation and that feeling like the plague - usually by not being intimately connected to people.

It's hard. Even in the midst of discussing it early this morning, and seeing that everyone more or less felt the same way, it's so funny to see the ways that we distort actions and thoughts and glances between people and we miscommunicate. And make ourselves feel on the outside, even when we aren't. It's so hard to KNOW that we are loved, even all the while while it's being communicated to us.

The greatest thing you'll ever learn, is just to love, and be loved in return. That's pretty much where I'm at right now. And while I can't say that I'm excited or ready to go home and continue to learn those lessons, I know that I will. And I'm hoping to try to trust the Lord that He will take care of me and bless me while I learn.

Here's to that hope!

And here's some more pictures:
http://houghton.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2011627&l=
23c64&id=100301115